The Spam Folder

Zimbabwean Email

2010-09-28T06:04:00.000-07:00

I have to hand it to the spammers, they're getting more creative. In this one, Miss Belinda Graham, a farmer's daughter appeals to suckers' charitable yet greedy nature.

Hello Dear,

My name is miss Belinda Graham, the only daughter of late Mr.Zac Graham of Zimbabwe. In view of the war and barbaric act against white farmers in my country Zimbabwe by PRESIDENT ROBERT MUGABE to claim all their farm land, he ordered all the White farmers to surrender their farm land and also their entire properties to his party members/followers.

My father was a victim of this oppression and in human treatment as he was one of the richest Farmers in our country. Due to the fact that my father was not in support of the white farmers victimization, the president's supporters invaded my father's farm, burnt everything in the farm, arrested him and confiscated all his investment. Early 2003 when this victimization of white farmers by PRESIDENT ROBERT MUGABE started, my late father envisaged a worse situation, he concealed all his money and smuggled it out of Zimbabwe to a security firm in Ghana west Africa, This money apparently was meant for the purchase of new machines and chemical for the farms and establishment of new farms in Swaziland .

While my father was still in detention that led to his untimely death due to torture in he called me and handed over all the documents with which the money was deposited in a security firm as family treasure and valuables. My name Belinda Graham was used as the next of Kin in case of death. I am seeking for your permission to have this money $4 Million USD (Four Million USD) entrusted into your hands for investment in your country.

i will also be willing to forward all the necessary documents to you that is DEPOSIT CERTIFICATE,THE NAME AND ADDRESS OF THE SECURITY COMPANY WHERE THE MONEY WAS DEPOSITED INCLUDING THE WILL my late father left before his death showing that i am the rightful owners of this money for your confirmation.

I have been in hiding since all these while so that this terrorist/tyrant called PRESIDENT ROBERT MUGABE will not kill me just the way he killed my parents.i am now in Ghana Western Africa under Asylum permit and will be very happy to receive your Immediate assistance as my life is in great danger for your assistance i will give you %30 percent of the total fund.

I wait for your soonest reply.

Regards,

Miss Belinda Graham.

Another Nigerian Email

2010-08-24T17:02:00.000-07:00

FROM TURAI YARDUA
WIFE OF LATE PRESIDENT
OF NIGERIAN.UMARU MUSA
YARDUA.P.M..B.067898
NIGERIAN .ABUJA STATE CAPITAL
DEAR SIR/MADAM
I am Hajia Turai Yar’Adua, the Wife of the Late President of Nigeria Umaru Musa Yar’Adua. I want you to please help me and
invest the sum of ($126 Million USD) which my Husband deposited in a security firm in Oversea before he died recently. Note, the funds where deposited as security bonds worth ($126 Million USD) before he went to a hospital in Jeddah, Saudi Arabia in November 2009.
I will send to you all the necessary documents that will mandate you to claim the security deposit bonds, as the sole beneficiary of the security deposit bonds. Please if you are willing to assist me, kindly email me back so that we will proceed immediately. After all is been done, you will take 35% out from the total sum while 5% is been set aside for any expense.
I believe you must have heard about my Husband’s death and this will not come to you as a surprise but please try and understand exactly what I am talking here. I look forward for your kind update. Please email me your willing to proceed. For security reasons contact me through .PLS. INEEDED YOUR SIMPATY OF ME AND MY CHILDREN WITH TRUST AND TRUTH, PLS..REPLY TO ME WITH E-MAIL ADDRESS.mrsyaradua_007@yahoo.com
Healthy regards,
Hajia Turai Yar’Adua (Wife of the President)
For the Family.

From the Spam Folder: Business Acumen

2010-08-03T12:30:00.000-07:00

Acumen Investment Consultant
Southlands Buxton Road,
Bosley Macclesfield SK11 0PS England
Tel:+447045707946.

Re: Request For Partnership

Attn: Sir/Madam,

As a professional Investment Consultant,who provides personal investment planning service to clients throughout Cheshire and North Staffordshire . I am seeking to align my client with a progressive company or individual that is poised for strong investment partnership growth and success. Hopefully that with your experience in management and supervising bussiness,i am confident that you can help my client meet his most ambitious investment objectives to invest money correctly and with your assurance that in your investing program there is absolutely NO RISK.

My client has investment interest in ,Real Estate, Forex Market , Export Import Trade, Education and Stock Market; following recommendation from financial adviser,and it is on this note that i find it worthy to contact you so that you can help my client invest money correctly in any of the above mentioned areas in your country under your supervision and management.

Please provide answers to the key strength questions below:

(1) Are you interested in partnering with my clients on this project?
(2) Are you ready to receive and invest money correctly on behalf of my client? (3) Can you supervise the investment on behalf of my client?
(4) We require your full contact information including your home/office address, phone number and a copy of an International passport or drivers license.

On the receipt of the above answers and information,a copy of investment agreement which will be signed by both parties involved to guide in the implementation of this projects will be provided by a Solicitor.

I would appreciate your willingness in which you could assist my client in accomplishing his investment goal,please feel free to contact me directly at any time.In the meantime,thank you for your consideration.

Sincerely ,

Nick J. Cosby.

*Sure pal, have him send $2 million in small bills; I'll invest it in lottery tickets!

VIBROSEPARATOR

2010-07-26T04:52:00.000-07:00

Dear Sirs,
Our company JSC VIBROSEPARATOR is one of the leading Ukrainian producers of agricultural machinery for cleaning, grading and transporting of grains, providing complex solutions for seeds production, harvest stocking and processing.
Few years ago we began production of mounted concrete mixers and some other equipment for our European partners as a private labeled spot business.
Now we are trying to enlarge our markets with expanding new territories and searching for new partners. Being well equipped and experienced, we have surplus of capacities and we are open for other production orders and “private label” requests of different machinery and equipment.
To have better overview about our company and products, we kindly invite you to visit our web-site www.vibro.com.ua
Please, evaluate your possible interest in our collaboration and don’t hesitate to contact us for any query.

Best Regards,
JSC Vibroseparator
10001, 93 Baranova Str., Zhytomyr,Ukraine
tel./fax: + 38 0412 42 70 26
+ 38 0412 42 80 88

Give This Guy a Call-He has your money and Mine too!

2010-07-23T10:39:00.001-07:00

Dear Friend.

I am Mr Joseph Duncan,the former Deputy Managing Director of BOA,Finance and Banking Services International Bank Of Africa. I am retired now and willing to relocate abroad to establish my own business with a competent and reliable person.

However,I wish to inform you that I have a very big financial project I would like us to work towards, which I will procure all the necessary documents via the Law court that will guarantee the free transfer of the funds into any nominated bank from your side once you agree. I wish to inform you that I have the sum of ($14.5 MILLION US DOLLARS) deposited in a dormicilary dormant bank account awaiting to assign a beneficiary name before it would be transferred.

I have been depositing funds into this account for the past 10 (Ten years) little by little up to this time from joint gold transfer deals with a part British owned company called Ashanti Goldfields Company AGC located in Sanso in Obuasi.

Please contact me back with your full details below so that we move this fund into a safe account.I hope to hear from you soonest so that i will forward you the form without much delay.Please feel much free to ask me any question you don't understand before we start.

Full Name
Address
Occupation
Telephone Number
Sex and Marital Status
Country.

Waiting for your mail.
Yours Truly,
Mr Chalu Danko.
Telephone:+234-702-915-0393.

Another International Bank Fraud Scheme

2010-07-23T10:38:00.000-07:00

I get these emails from these supposed bankers who offer to share the wealth as they misappropriate famous dead people's money. The use of language is comical, the details are often incorrect and I just find them so amusing for their almost naive supposition that someone would be stupid enough to reply! Here is the latest one, pasted from my email:

MY NAME IS MRS.LARISA SOSNITSKAYA, PERSONAL SECRETARY TO MR.BORIS MIKHAIL KHODORKOVSKY,THE ARRESTED CHAIRMAN/CEO OF YUKOS OIL AND BANK
MENATEP SPB IN RUSSIA WHO IS PRESENTLY IN JAIL.AFTER SEARCHING THROUGH THE BOOKS OF YOUR COUNTRY'S CHAMBERS OF COMMERCE AND INDUSTRIES HERE IN RUSSIA I AM CONTACTING YOU TO ASSIST ME TO RE-PROFILE THE FUNDS AND EQUALLY INVEST SAME ON HIS BEHALF.THE TOTAL AMOUNT OF FUNDS TO BE RE-PROFILLED IS FORTY SIX MILLION DOLLARS (USD$46,000,000.00) AND YOU WILL BE PAID 20% FOR YOUR MANAGEMENT SERVICES.

AS SOON AS I RECEIVE YOUR ACCEPTANCE TO MY PERSONAL EMAIL ADDRESS:lisasosnitskaya2@yahoo.com.cn
I WILL SEND YOU THE NECESSARY DETAILS AND MY IDENTIFICATION.

Spam: The Video

2007-08-26T22:39:00.001-07:00

How could I have a site called The Spam Folder without having this video on it somewhere? This is the classic Monty Python SPAM video that actually is the root of the internet meaning of SPAM. Don't ask about the subtitles-they were in every video I could find on YouTube; must be SPAM....

The Spam Folder

2007-08-24T20:57:00.000-07:00

Everybody has one. If you are lucky, its where the emails for mortgages, penis enlargement products, penny stock tips and much more end up before they are deleted into the ether.

This site glorifies and mocks those ubiquitous bits of internet nastiness.

Enjoy.